(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Nickleback.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops