How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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everybody loves raymond

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops