What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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One time at band camp.............that's it........

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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What do you call a person mowing a lawn? A Mexican

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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2 + 2 = fish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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