What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

Safe sex MR

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

have you ever had african food? neither have they

What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...