why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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roses are red violets are blue last time i dropped something this hard it ended world war 2?

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

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What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

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There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

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Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Banana Banana who? I have AIDS

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What do you get when you cross a train track and a bumpy feild, Further along on your GPS map.

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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