Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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