Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

2 + 2 = fish

MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

Three black men were walking...

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

why did ryan go to bed? because he is a growing boy and need it to keep in line for his study's i lied about him sleeping hes dead he was abducted

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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