I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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