I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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SNAPPLE!

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guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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