what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Firgen and the blung brigade

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +10

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Funny names Alec Balls Isaac Balls Dick Hedd Willy lickerr Lydia Stick Gaylord Sugar Fanny Gouger

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Woman rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops