(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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This is an anti-joke.

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I know you are but what am I? Gay.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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101 ways to annoy people 1.) lying about having a 101 ways to annoy people

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

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what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What do the Jewish man, the Black man, and Mexican man all have in common? They all miraculously like cantalope.

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what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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