A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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What is a chair?

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

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Why did the fat kid fall of his bike? The skinny kid pushed him off!

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He committed a crime that had a penalty of several years in the state penitentiary.

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eden stop

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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What is greater than God, More evil than the Devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, If you eat it, you will die? Madelyns head

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops