MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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1: I know a lot of people hate Mondays, but my least favorite day of the week is Thursday. 2: Can I ask why? 1: Of course you can. Everyone has free will.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

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Lets go Yankees

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why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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anal seepage

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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What did one Dentist say to the other? You are fat.

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How do you make a black man sad? Kill his entire family.

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops