A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

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What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew. One's a tasty delicious snack and the other one's a pizza.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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So you into art? You been to Louvre by the way?

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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why does column have a letter n?

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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A obese woman, a anorexic woman and a average weight woman sit down to eat. They all have a good time.

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I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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