Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

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If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

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why does column have a letter n?

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What happened to the blind boy? He went deaf.. helen kellered....

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What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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more chocolate?

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops