How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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bologna

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A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

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- Why Mexicans have small steering wheels in their cars? - Because of this they are able to drive a car in handcuffs.

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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-_- i like trains ... -_-

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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woman..parallel parking

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

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an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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