an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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KONY 2012

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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