It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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bologna

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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