We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down -35

adam hodgson !

thumb_up thumb_down -35

You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Limerick There once was a man from mass whos balls were made out of brass he clank them together to make stormy weather and lightning came out of his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops