What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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This joke is funny

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

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nick ya honkin of b.o m8

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Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops