You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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Limerick There once was a man from mass whos balls were made out of brass he clank them together to make stormy weather and lightning came out of his ass

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Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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A ginger kid and his 5 friends walk into a bar

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops