Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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A. Hey.. B. Hi

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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