Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

CRY

Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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