A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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69

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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