Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

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A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

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What's cooler than living on the sun? Everything, because the sun is the hottest entity in the entire universe. Plus, who'd want to live on the sun?

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

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What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

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The black man leaves the strip club.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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