Knock Knock *opens the door*

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Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

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What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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A black man burned down my house. It was on minecraft you racist!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops