What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +21

honest politician

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops