An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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Knock knock Come in

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once upon a time, it snowed

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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