"Knock knock." "No."

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Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

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elen degeneres is straight....

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Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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A black man burned down my house. It was on minecraft you racist!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

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What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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