Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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Sex education in Texas,

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The Jewish boy asks his dad for 50 dollars His dad says " 40 dollars? what do you need 30 dollars for? "

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

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i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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