I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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When I was just a little kid, my daddy lest the house and we all joined him to wherever he wanted to live.

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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Oh s***

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

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Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

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What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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UP

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Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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