i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blinde and brunette are stranded on an island. They are never found and starve to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

destiny

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops