What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

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Soo if ur on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Pickle.

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

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This is a joke only for males: Walk into any semi busy public restroom. Stand at the urinal for about 30 seconds to a minute acting as though you cannot find your penis. Make sure you have the attention of at least 2 other urinators and then exclaim quite loudly "I can't find it!" then walk out.

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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