So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

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knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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Punching a baby

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

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Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

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anti jokes r not funny, jk, thats a joke, i bet sum of u losers will like this cuz all of these jokes r horrible

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Why do jews have big noses? Because the air is free!

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What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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