Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

Q:Why did the cop arrest the black guy with a gun? A: because he shot a family and when the funeral was held he cooked a grenade killed everyone and peed on there grave, later he rapped two dogs and stabbed a crippled then tea bagged a horse to death.

A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

Why was the boy laughing? Because

3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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