How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? They don't ACTUALLY eat or throw wood. Instead, they eat grasses and insects and pretty much everything else at ground level they can get their hands on. But they can, apparently, CHEW wood, and that's where the idea for this study came in. The authors decided to use the word "chuck" to mean "chew" (I suppose because upchucking is the opposite?), and wanted to see how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. They obtained 12 woodchucks (by "various means" that are not described, I picture some middle aged guy in a suit trying to stalk one), and food deprived them to ensure they would eat the wood. Then, they fed each woodchuck a 2x4 (yes) and watched how fast they ate it. All the woodchucks ate the wood, none actively attempted to toss it, and none upchucked. They could, apparently digest the wood pretty well, and consumed it at a rate of 361.9237001 cubic centimeteres per animals per day (no error bars, and the food deprivation was nuts, 12 days, leading me to think they didn't REALLY...). They note that, while none of the woodchucks attempted to throw the wood, they probably would have, had they been capable. So the next time someone asks you, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? You answer is clear! He'd chuck 361.9237001 cubic centrimeters of wood per day, which is the wood that a woodchuck COULD chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

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What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

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I remember in the 80's it felt like Bill Cosby was being shoved down my throat. He was always on TV with his show and those Jello commercials.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

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Why are ther so many black people in the NBA? Because culturally Basketball is a very popular sport among a lot of African Americans, thus providing a lot of African Amercans to play Basketball professionally

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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this is not a joke.

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Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

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A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

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A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Shush girl, shut your lips do the Helen Keller and advocate the rights the disabled.

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the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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Why did the black man walk across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Bumsniffer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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