A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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whats funnier than 24? 25

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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