justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

thumb_up thumb_down +8

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a joke? This

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops