I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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When I was just a little kid, my daddy lest the house and we all joined him to wherever he wanted to live.

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whats white and sticky glue

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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brittney griner

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops