Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

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An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

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Chuck norris

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whats chinese noodles

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What's the bright side of Jimmy only having one leg? There isn't one.

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Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

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how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

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I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

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Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

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What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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You're a frog

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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