Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

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Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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what do you call a baby rapest jordan gregg

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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why did michael jackson write black or white he didnt want black people to copy him

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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