Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

thumb_up thumb_down -18

F Detroit! I'm more of a Bulls fan

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

men

thumb_up thumb_down -18

hey im leon and i love the chuckie

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops