What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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A bear walks into a bakerey. He aks for a loaf of bread. The bakers asks: "White or brown?" The bear answers: "It doesn't matter, I'm on the motorcycle".

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Why was the gay guy sad?

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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#Cutforbieber - Cole g.

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What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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