Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

This is Heading 1

why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

Roses are red, Violets are violet

what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to properly balance himself.

Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

Christianity

Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.