What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Blonde Girls

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knock knock Who's there? Will Nealis Will Nealis who? Will nealis continuously finds himself crying himself to sleep as reality begins to smack himn in the face revealing to him that nobody has, does, or ever will like him. He is also informed that the reason his parents left him is because he is such a flaming ginger, his nasty face ruins the atmosphere of any room he walks in to. he has been adopted by a lovely gay couple and he takes after both of his fathers very much, in the aspect of enjoying massive animal c o c k in his mouth as well as having threesomes with his dads. will goes to school everyday and is tormented for being homosexual, so when he goes home hie parents beat him....off and have lemon partys with wills grandpa as he watches and masturbates vigourously.

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

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A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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What's cooler than living on the sun? Everything, because the sun is the hottest entity in the entire universe. Plus, who'd want to live on the sun?

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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