Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Never mind

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

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black people are white when i use night gogles

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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What is the meaning of life? 42

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Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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