What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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david weres the slug gone

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

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why did the mom beat up her son with downs because he was matt daly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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