Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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tommy is retared

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

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david weres the slug gone

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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