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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

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Wright flyer

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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What is the difference between a white mans penis and a black mans penis? It doesn't matter, phallic size isn't everything its what you do that defies you.

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What do vampires cross the sea in?

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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I'm a fork. Fork you!!

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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God

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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