An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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What did PSY say about his newest song? Probably something in Korean.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

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Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

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What do you get when you mix a ginger with gasoline? a forest fire.

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I was once a hamster.

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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