Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one, its a fairly easy task

why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

-_- i like trains ... -_-

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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