What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms Why did the boy drop his ice cream Because he was hit by a truck. and geuss who was driving the truck? The girl with no arms

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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*insert joke here*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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Jackass! I was one of the central leaders of the fucking "old" underworld network, while you just scraped together whoever was left when the shit hit the ceiling and called it all yours! And stop trying to flatter yourself, your methods are an insult to everyone that knows what methods you are using, and probably every fucking else, charm is one thing, acting like a total queerfag is another. Lets see what the money you claim I will be receiving will do for me, as your goddamn "experts" "followers" are the ones that sliced my fucking eyeball almost in half, and if you had no idea, eyes are pretty much like fucking raw egg inside, so its not much to do about it. Listen, I know your fucking "order", its not Scientology, and its not FUCKING NERONISM! IF YOU ARE GOING TO CALL IT FOR WHAT IT IS YOU DO THAT! MY NAME IS NERO, ITS NOT AN ALIAS, ITS NOT A NICKNAME NOR SOME FUCKING "CYBER IDENTITY" So you better make sure that money arrives soon enough, or I will reveal the name of your "order", the locations and whatever members I know to the public, and you know I do not fucking mean those worthless queers you sent or did not send to harass me. And you know I do not mean here on fucking horsehead network, Ill start a fucking torrent on the piratebay, and share every fucking secret left, and you can bet there will be nowhere for your "high and mighty" ass to hide. Listen, My name is Nero, your name is "Axel Knight" (Or so you claim, if I where you, I would be hiding in shame too!) SO HOW THE HELL DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE THAT YOUR "ORDER" IS SUPPOSEDLY CALLED THE ORDER OF NERO?

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suck my balls mr.garison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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