yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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Women's Rights

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

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how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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out of your comfort zone

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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