An irish man walks out of a bar

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't, you're either just racist or unobservant.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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GONNA

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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